Is this weird? The worse or more uncomfortable I feel writing this, the more I want to continue, as if there's something I have to prove to myself.

However there's a huge gaping difference between exploring dark, twisted themes in fiction, and actually doing those things in real life.

This is true, and that's where I think people fail to draw the distinction. Like people who say that violent video games cause children to go out and commit violent crimes. That's bullshit. No one makes you do things but yourself, and if you can't draw that important line between fantasy and reality, you don't belong in society.