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elementalhero) wrote2009-11-03 08:26 pm
elementalhero) wrote2009-11-03 08:26 pm
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and no one even knew, it was really only you
Another meme ganked from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
redbrunja!
Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
/derp derp derp
IN OTHER NEWS: YGO ABRIDGED 43 AND 44 ARE UP!
redbrunja!Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
/derp derp derp
IN OTHER NEWS: YGO ABRIDGED 43 AND 44 ARE UP!
no subject
She knows they're red with black patterns just from hearsay, but never knew that the red looks like blood drying on the surface of the moon, the three tomoe pitch-black holes in the center of the universe. She could swear they shift as she watches, too slowly for her to catch but just enough to make her feel a little dizzy upon staring, pinwheeling in an intangible wind. The harder she tries to pin down their movement, the less she can tell, and the dizzier she feels, until she thinks maybe it's an optical illusion and his pupils are just dilating, inviting her in...
She notices, suddenly, that they're standing much closer than when they'd started out, that his hands have shifted slightly and one of his thumbs is softly stroking her lower lip, that her hands have inexplicably wound up on his shoulders, that her heart is pounding and she's hot and cold all at the same time.
"Interesting," she breathes, and they're so close that she can feel her own breath ghosting across his face.
no subject
This, if I remember correctly, was written while I was RP'ing as Itachi at
Anyway, since this was a mini-fic that was supposed to be nothing but UST, I looked up at the others in the set and realized that most of them involve Anko being the dominant one in the relationship, due to a lot of factors--her age, her experience, her snark, Itachi's more subtle personality, etc. Even though I love that aspect of how I write their relationship, I decided to try mixing it up a little, at least once, and give Itachi the upper hand.
Also, seductive!Itachi is dkflsdalklfaslsajl yes.
I'm really not sure what's going on in Itachi's head during this scene (obvs. we get what's going on in Anko's head). Come to think of it, I'm not even sure when, chronologically, this is supposed to take place: pre- or post-massacre? I could see either in different ways, with different inflections, so I'll just let the reader decide.
What really makes this interesting for me is that I see (and tend to write) Anko as a person who is always very much about control. She's afraid to lose control of herself, whether it's emotional control, or control of the situation around her (not control of others, so much--she mostly just worries about herself and what she's doing, and lets others take care of themselves).
So a situation like this, where she's not just losing control but surrendering it, willfully, even just for a moment, is fascinating to me. It kind of shows both a sort of recklessness, but underneath it, trust--and that's where the real tension comes from.
*looks up* Wow, I didn't expect to talk so much about this one. APPARENTLY I AM A LOT DEEPER ABOUT THESE THINGS THAN I THOUGHT. *sidles away*
no subject
And I totally agree about how interesting it is to put Itachi in the dominate role, and how that nicely tweaks their dynamics.
Alos, I love the subtely in Anko's last line.
no subject
Also, re:comment below us, I've been thinking about doing a DVD comentary on all of Fugue, highlighting areas that I think I did well in, and things I'd like to work on. If I did that, would you be down with helping me self-crit in comments? I ask because the fic is ungodly huge, and I don't know if I'd want to do the whole thing if not many people are going to be interested, in the interest of saving myself a few hours of what might otherwise be
productivepossibly productive time.no subject
Right now, I am not really reading much fanfic, I'm CERTAINLY not writing it, yuletide's coming up... basically, I just don't think I have the time to sit down with your work and your comments on your work and give it the attention it deserves.
/rp journal, too lazy to log out
Re: /rp journal, too lazy to log out
I look forward to reading it, though.
from Fugue
He looks down and grimaces. “Oh, sick. Here, give me that.”
“What are you—”
He reaches down and snatches the peeled, blood-smeared, half-eaten apple from my hand. He licks the blood off, takes a bite, and then hands it back to me. “There. All better.”
I practically throw the apple across the street. “You’re disgusting.”
Shisui practically falls out of the tree laughing. “Oh my gosh, your face, Itachi—” Still laughing. “I don’t think I’ve seen you make a face like that—ever—”
I slide out of the tree. “Whatever,” I call behind me, moving as if to leave. Predictably, Shisui follows.
“Aww, come on, don’t be mad at me,” he whines. “If you’re hungry, I’ll get you another apple—”
“Shisui.” I’ve stopped, and he bumps into me.
“What?”
I turn. “Are they really that worried about me?”
“Itachi, you’re kind of important.”
Maybe I should be a little more careful.
“I’ll be at the next meeting. I promise,” I tell him. “Regardless of what comes up.”
He grins. No, he beams. Ruffling my hair, he says, “I knew you’d come through, Itachi.”
It makes me feel a little better. Calmer. Having a definite course of action does that.
Later, I find out that Sasuke’s supposed to be entering Academy that day.
To hell with my life.
holy teal deer, Batman!
This scene was a scene...I knew what was going to happen in it, knew what it was going to convey on the surface and subtextually and how both sides were going to contribute to the plot, but I had no idea how I was going to actually, you know. End the scene.
Originally, I started moving into a longer exploration of Itachi finding out that Sasuke was going to be entering Academy, but the scene started losing focus; the most important part of this scene is Itachi and Shisui's conversation, and that's it. So logically, it should end right after their conversation. I knew that, and ended up chopping off the Sasuke scene, but ending the scene at "Having a definite course of action does that," felt too abrupt. So I decided to mention Sasuke anyway, while moving away, but it still prevented me from having a conclusive-feeling end to the scene. Looking at it again, I really dislike "To hell with my life;" I don't feel like it fits the tone and voice Itachi's been presenting the scene in, and it's somehow even more abrupt than the firts ending. If I could rewrite the end of this scene, that would be majorly overhauled.
The apple symbolism here was actually a total accident. The real focus of the image of the apple was the blood that got on it. Blood is a big theme/motif in this fic; the taste of blood, especially, recurs in many places. Itachi is both repulsed and fascinated by blood, which is touched on in many other scenes. Blood represents violence in that context--Itachi hates violence, but cannot escape it, as it is integral to his way of living, in the same way that he hates blood itself as a physical substance, but obviously cannot live without it in his body.
Blood also, more subtly, refers to family ties. They're my flesh and blood, Itachi mentions at one point in his narration when he's talking about the Uchiha. In this way, blood is symbolic of bonds--think about "blood ties" and things "signed in blood," etc.--whether these bonds are desirable or not. With the clashing symbolism of violence and severing (you only bleed when you're cut, and Itachi does cut himself above), and family and bonds, blood serves as kind of a universal but contradictory symbol, tying family and violence together. What can heal you can also hurt you. Bonds can strengthen you and weaken you as well.
The way this is kind of brought to the surface is through Shisui, Itachi's clanmate and friend, licking off the blood (which Itachi actually emphasizes with italics in the original fic--that phrase over other actions like "takes a bite," and "hands it back to me"). Shisui is the first family member Itachi kills. It's implied that he's also one of the first (if not the first) friends Itachi ever made, especially in one of the opening scenes, where Itachi talks about not being able to remember a time before Shisui was there (compared with how he should and does clearly remember when Sasuke was born). So, Shisui is the first bond Itachi makes, and the first one he severs.
Anway, all this tl;dr is supposed to say that the important symbol in this scene is the blood, not the apple. I only spotted that the apple could be a symbol for temptation, death, knowledge, etc. (re: Biblical imagery, practically in the public domain) after walking away and coming back to the scene. I kind of like<.i> that as an underlying implication, don't get me wrong, but the point is, it happened by accident, and I worry that it overshadows what I actually did think of by myself.
Also, before I move on, note that in the last scene, when Itachi runs to Anko after Shisui's death, he buries his face, covered in bloody tears (i.e. the result of him gaining Mangekyou) in her shirt, and it leaves a stain. It's when he recognizes that even though he left, and they hadn't been speaking, there was still that bond, the next hardest bond he has to sever before he can fully carry out his mission and cut all ties to the village.
TEAL DEER TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
I love playing with Itachi and Shisui's dynamic, mostly because Itachi has no idea exactly how much more emotionally dominant Shisui is in their relationship. Up until this point, yes, we've had goofy scenes where Itachi is the smary one and Shisui is the one doing dumb things like trying to drink a whole bottle of sake--so here is where we, the readers, start to glimpse a darker side of Shisui. There were earlier hints at it, like him being a dick about Anko and in general coming off as a slightly misogynistic asshole and other such, but it's only in this scene that we start to get glimpses under the daww!face facade.
The scariest part, of course, is that we can see it, but Itachi has no idea. I mean, earlier in the scene (sob okay so we are discussing it), Shisui starts massively, massively guilting Itachi about not being at meetings, as well as subtly--oh god, so subtly--hinting that yes, he does know what's going on, and he'll play along just this once, Itachi, but this had better end soon~ and just. You can see him manipulating Itachi--Itachi!--and what I wanted to get at with this was two things.
One, foreshadowing of the last scene--where Itachi realizes he's been manipulated all along via both his trust and Shisui's incredibly subtle mind-haxxorz. Notice how he ruffles Itachi's hair (physical contact, remember? That's another theme I won't go into right here), and Itachi immediately feels more secure in his decision to go along with Shisui's advice. Brr.
Two, what I was trying to imply was that this is where Itachi learns how to be a cold, manipulative bastard. (Not "this" like this scene specifically, but "this" like his relationship with Shisui as a whole.) It's been implied that Shisui's been emotionally pulling Itachi's strings (while letting Itachi think he's the stronger of the two) for much longer than this, and logically, Itachi would start to pick up these things, subconsciously at the very least.
Okay, I think that's a good place to stop before I keel over. orz
Re: TEAL DEER TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
If you did do a commentary for the whole fic, I would so read it! The sybolism is fantastic. Shisui and his power need to be talked about (as does his death scene), and well, Itachi.
Thanks for this bit though!
From night terror
Being a traitor didn’t matter. Being a villain didn’t matter. His death at Sasuke’s hands would have taken care of that. No one would mourn him, as no one mourns the wicked—he would reap as he had sown, and Sasuke could finally live. His unattainable redemption would come at the mercies of fate and the avenger of his clan. The blood of all the Uchiha was on his hands forever, but this—
This was beyond unforgivable.
No matter how long Itachi lived, and no matter how painfully he died, nothing he could do could ever make up for this.
This... this abomination was his final sin to bear.
“So,” Orochimaru said, bringing out a kunai and smiling horribly, “it’s nothing personal, Itachi-kun. It was simply...” His smile widened as he prepared to deliver the last verbal blow.
“...his last request.”
--
The knowledge that Sasuke was still alive was both balm and terror to Itachi. Comfort that Itachi still had a chance, not to redeem himself (an impossible task), but to atone, at least. Terror that any day could be his last, whether falling to Orochimaru or someone else, it didn’t matter. Sasuke had to be there to watch his brother fall.
Itachi’s greatest fear was dying alone.
--
The third time Itachi had the nightmare, he rolled over and went back to sleep.
He deserved to live in fear.
Re: From night terror
I like the idea of Itachi having really bad nightmares all the time, to the point where he feels weird when he doesn't have them. (I didn't use the second part of that idea in this fic, but I might use it in Those Who Favor Fire.) Specifically, this fic came about after I spent a great deal of time thinking about what Itachi's reaction must have been when he heard that Sasuke had gone over to Orochimaru, given his own history with the man. It occurred to me to wonder what Itachi's reaction would have been if Orochimaru succeeded in taking Sasuke's body for his own, and what kind of wrench that would have thrown into Itachi's Planz.
Also, it's kind of horrible to think about when you remember that Itachi does love Sasuke, even in his own messy way. ;__;
I also like the last little scene in there, where Itachi is shown waking up after the third time he has the nightmare, and he can't even react to it anymore because he has to live with the idea, the possibility, every day--to the point that it isn't that the idea doesn't scare him anymore, but that he's just completely dead, emotion-wise, to fear.
bawww, Itachi~ ♥ I may also be playing more with the basis of this idea in TWFF, so keep an eye out for it!