and no one even knew, it was really only you

[elementalhero]

Another meme ganked from redbrunja!

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

/derp derp derp

IN OTHER NEWS: YGO ABRIDGED 43 AND 44 ARE UP!

Comments

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

She's never seen a Sharingan up close, she tells him, and he places one palm to each side of her head and lets her have a look.

She knows they're red with black patterns just from hearsay, but never knew that the red looks like blood drying on the surface of the moon, the three tomoe pitch-black holes in the center of the universe. She could swear they shift as she watches, too slowly for her to catch but just enough to make her feel a little dizzy upon staring, pinwheeling in an intangible wind. The harder she tries to pin down their movement, the less she can tell, and the dizzier she feels, until she thinks maybe it's an optical illusion and his pupils are just dilating, inviting her in...

She notices, suddenly, that they're standing much closer than when they'd started out, that his hands have shifted slightly and one of his thumbs is softly stroking her lower lip, that her hands have inexplicably wound up on his shoulders, that her heart is pounding and she's hot and cold all at the same time.

"Interesting," she breathes, and they're so close that she can feel her own breath ghosting across his face.

[okroginator.livejournal.com]

Hmm...I remember this being fun to write.

This, if I remember correctly, was written while I was RP'ing as Itachi at thedollsyhouse (which I no longer do), and while I was there, I ended up describing the Sharingan a lot in tags (especially with non-canonmates, who wouldn't know what it looked like or what it did). From practice, I became quite good at it. XD

Anyway, since this was a mini-fic that was supposed to be nothing but UST, I looked up at the others in the set and realized that most of them involve Anko being the dominant one in the relationship, due to a lot of factors--her age, her experience, her snark, Itachi's more subtle personality, etc. Even though I love that aspect of how I write their relationship, I decided to try mixing it up a little, at least once, and give Itachi the upper hand.

Also, seductive!Itachi is dkflsdalklfaslsajl yes.

I'm really not sure what's going on in Itachi's head during this scene (obvs. we get what's going on in Anko's head). Come to think of it, I'm not even sure when, chronologically, this is supposed to take place: pre- or post-massacre? I could see either in different ways, with different inflections, so I'll just let the reader decide.

What really makes this interesting for me is that I see (and tend to write) Anko as a person who is always very much about control. She's afraid to lose control of herself, whether it's emotional control, or control of the situation around her (not control of others, so much--she mostly just worries about herself and what she's doing, and lets others take care of themselves).

So a situation like this, where she's not just losing control but surrendering it, willfully, even just for a moment, is fascinating to me. It kind of shows both a sort of recklessness, but underneath it, trust--and that's where the real tension comes from.

*looks up* Wow, I didn't expect to talk so much about this one. APPARENTLY I AM A LOT DEEPER ABOUT THESE THINGS THAN I THOUGHT. *sidles away*

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

seductive!Itachi IS dkflsdalklfaslsajl yes.

And I totally agree about how interesting it is to put Itachi in the dominate role, and how that nicely tweaks their dynamics.

Alos, I love the subtely in Anko's last line.

[okroginator.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks. C:

Also, re:comment below us, I've been thinking about doing a DVD comentary on all of Fugue, highlighting areas that I think I did well in, and things I'd like to work on. If I did that, would you be down with helping me self-crit in comments? I ask because the fic is ungodly huge, and I don't know if I'd want to do the whole thing if not many people are going to be interested, in the interest of saving myself a few hours of what might otherwise be productive possibly productive time.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I am SUPER flattered that you asked me... but I'm afraid that I have to decline.

Right now, I am not really reading much fanfic, I'm CERTAINLY not writing it, yuletide's coming up... basically, I just don't think I have the time to sit down with your work and your comments on your work and give it the attention it deserves.

/rp journal, too lazy to log out

[impassive-eyes.livejournal.com]

Understandable. Thanks for considering, though! ♥ Good luck with yuletide, by the way.

Re: /rp journal, too lazy to log out

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I just wish I could say yes.

I look forward to reading it, though.