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elementalheroI'M BAAAAAAACK!!!!!
Probably no one outside of RL noticed I was gone, lawl.
But anyway, I was out for three days participating in District Chorus with fourteen other kids from my school, and we rock SO HARD.
I'm a Soprano I, and I placed tenth in pre-auditions, which means that if I kept my place or got higher, I'd move on to Regional Chorus. But....I didn't. I dropped three places to thirteenth--not even second alternate. And I was one of only three of us that didn't make it to go on, and the other two were guys and they didn't practice as much as I did, so...
It was the first time in a long time that I've ever cried after losing something. I didn't walk away and cry on my own--I actually was running around hugging my chorus-mates and telling them congratulations and by the third person that I hugged, my eyes were starting to well up and my voice was giving out and I knew that if I didn't pull my head together, I'd break down in front of everyone and ruin the happy vibes. I felt like such a scumbag for completely phailing and dragging the mood down. But my anonymous guy friend who made tenth in his part like me (we were tenth-twins, that's what we called ourselves) moved up to eighth place, and when I hugged him, he hugged me really hard and told me we'd both have next year and I started really crying and not just "leaking" and I felt so bad. I even felt bad for feeling bad because I knew it did me no good to get all down on my self-esteem for something that I couldn't control anymore.
I think the reason I cried was because it was the first time in probably forever that I had wanted to win so badly. I mean, yeah, we always want to do well, but normally I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person where I just do my best and hope it turns out okay and if not, oh well. But, like, I don't know. I wanted this so much. I worked around my schedule of sports and work and school and I put blood, sweat, and tears into this. I'm a pretty lazy person, but I worked--so hard. And to just--not even fail to do better, but to do worse than before? I wanted to die.
But I think I hid it okay after the tears went away.
Also, I may or may not have been hit on twice by a girl (yes) with the worst reputation in the history of time, so that was an experience. Maybe I'll save that for another post.
Anyway, skip the cut for all the heavy stuff.
Besides that, I had the time of my life. We got a hotel and hung out after rehearsals and ate pizza and did all kinds of crazy things and there was some drama but we got over it and the concert rocked and we're now thw number one school for sending kids on to Regionals, so YEAH! We rock.
I need to call Sean. Gawd, I'm so tired.
Probably no one outside of RL noticed I was gone, lawl.
But anyway, I was out for three days participating in District Chorus with fourteen other kids from my school, and we rock SO HARD.
I'm a Soprano I, and I placed tenth in pre-auditions, which means that if I kept my place or got higher, I'd move on to Regional Chorus. But....I didn't. I dropped three places to thirteenth--not even second alternate. And I was one of only three of us that didn't make it to go on, and the other two were guys and they didn't practice as much as I did, so...
It was the first time in a long time that I've ever cried after losing something. I didn't walk away and cry on my own--I actually was running around hugging my chorus-mates and telling them congratulations and by the third person that I hugged, my eyes were starting to well up and my voice was giving out and I knew that if I didn't pull my head together, I'd break down in front of everyone and ruin the happy vibes. I felt like such a scumbag for completely phailing and dragging the mood down. But my anonymous guy friend who made tenth in his part like me (we were tenth-twins, that's what we called ourselves) moved up to eighth place, and when I hugged him, he hugged me really hard and told me we'd both have next year and I started really crying and not just "leaking" and I felt so bad. I even felt bad for feeling bad because I knew it did me no good to get all down on my self-esteem for something that I couldn't control anymore.
I think the reason I cried was because it was the first time in probably forever that I had wanted to win so badly. I mean, yeah, we always want to do well, but normally I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person where I just do my best and hope it turns out okay and if not, oh well. But, like, I don't know. I wanted this so much. I worked around my schedule of sports and work and school and I put blood, sweat, and tears into this. I'm a pretty lazy person, but I worked--so hard. And to just--not even fail to do better, but to do worse than before? I wanted to die.
But I think I hid it okay after the tears went away.
Also, I may or may not have been hit on twice by a girl (yes) with the worst reputation in the history of time, so that was an experience. Maybe I'll save that for another post.
Anyway, skip the cut for all the heavy stuff.
Besides that, I had the time of my life. We got a hotel and hung out after rehearsals and ate pizza and did all kinds of crazy things and there was some drama but we got over it and the concert rocked and we're now thw number one school for sending kids on to Regionals, so YEAH! We rock.
I need to call Sean. Gawd, I'm so tired.
