PS Recap Four: Shit Gets Real
Jun. 16th, 2010 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elementalheroAre you ready? Are you ready? ARE YOU READY?
(Also, on a completely unnecessary note but relating to Pokemon: Giratina is a cheating whore.)
Chapter Twelve: Vs. Snorlax (American title: Wake Up--You're Snorlax!)
In the American title, wouldn't the Snorlax already know it was a Snorlax? Why do you need to tell it?
Red starts off at a bicycle race in Vermilion City, with a top prize of a large amount of money. As the gun goes off, RED PEDALS FURIOUSLY, but apparently he borrowed a bike from Creepy Old Guy from last chapter, and it is the suck. He immediately gets behind everyone, btu suddenly catches up to find they've all stopped to go carefully one at a time over a bridge. When Red asks why, someone points to the river, which is filled with a whole bunch of Tentacruel. Because THIS IS POKEMON SPECIAL, BITCHES, BIKE RACES ARE HARDCORE SHIT. Apparently it is allowed for your Pokemon to help you because this race is full of Pokemon-based obstacles.
Red uses his head and has Poliwrath make an ice path over the river for him with Ice Beam. Pretty soon he's in the lead! But then he comes to a huge forest, which everyone is going around. Red decides to save himself some time and cut through, against the advice of a local Bug Catcher, and gets mauled by some Beedrill for his trouble (I always shudder at this part because of a strong, deep-rooted fear of bees D|). But hey, he's still in the lead!
And then Red says cute things:
But oh no! The last leg of the race is blocked by a huge sleeping Snorlax! What to do?
After unsuccessfully attempting to wake up Snorlax, Red realizes that he can wake it up by letting it smell the Beedrill honey that got all over Bulbasaur back in the forest. THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG--oh wait, of course it can. Red gets chased all the way across the finish line by the Snorlax attempting to eat his face off, and ends up having to comically spend all the prize money simply to purchase enough food for the Snorlax to eat. Ho ho!
Chapter Thirteen: Vs. Psyduck (American title: Sigh for Psyduck!)
Welp, here's Chapter 13. Certainly this is just going to be another heartwarming lovefest like the last chapter, right? I mean, come on.
Red and co. has made it to Northern Lavender Town in the middle of a downpour. But every person he tries to ask for directions to shelter ignores him or turns away. That's cold, man ;;
A kindly old man named Mr. Fuji shows up and chats it up with Red while paying his respects at a small grave sitting by the side of the road. When he explains that his Doduo, a good friend in life, is buried there, Red also pays his respects (d'aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww), and Mr. Fuji invites him to shelter at his house.
Mr. Fuji explains how Lavender Town has always been a city dedicated to the souls of Pokemon, paying respect to both the living and deceased who lived good lives. In order to give respect to the dead, the people built the Pokemon Tower at the edge of town, a multi-story mausoleum. Red works out the fridge logic and asks why, if that tower is a sacred gravesite for the whole town, isn't the old man's Doduo buried there instead of randomly by the street?
Mr. Fuji explains that no one visits the tower any longer, on account of malicious ghosts apparently haunting the place. Red's reaction is to lol and say he doesn't believe in ghosts. Mr. Fuji doesn't contradict him, notably, merely points out that Red saw the suspicious and unkind attitudes of the locals. Because of their fear of the ghosts, they no longer trust one another or speak to strangers. Mr. Fuji looks very sad as he remarks that he'd like to give his Doduo a proper resting place instead of an old alley, as he brings out some pictures of his beloved partner. Red gets a bit misty-eyed looking through them, but this is suddenly dissipated when he sees OMG GREEN in one of the pictures.
Mr. Fuji is surprised to find out Red knows him, as the young man had passed through a couple weeks ago, a little before Mr. Fuji's Doduo died, and just like Red, he, too, laughed at the idea of ghosts. Red asks where he went, and Mr Fuji says,
"Two weeks ago, that boy entered the tower to prove me wrong...He hasn't been seen since. But these days, no one who goes into that tower comes out..."
Brrr.
Red is understandably concerned, and contemplates this story as he walks towards the tower in the rain. Green is a tough trainer, Red thinks to himself, and he couldn't go down easily, so what has he been doing for two weeks? Could the tower be haunted? Red decides, of course, that the best course of action is to charge off into the tower to check this mystery out. Hardy Boy Red to the rescue!
Inside, the tower is understandably super creepy, and Red is psyched out by the sound of dripping water. A dark, thick fog obscures most of the inside of the tower, but even with the fog, Red notes it looks bigger on the inside than on the outside.
Red suddenly sees a harmless-looking Psyduck, and is shocked to find that there are Pokemon in the tower. But hey, it's just a lost-looking Psyduck, ri--HOLY FLYING FUCK
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NIGHTMARES FOR EVERYBODY
So Red is now surrounded by rotting zombie Pokemon! HA HA IT'S A PARTY, GUYS. Bulbasaur uses Razor Leaf...to no effect. Red then tries Sleep Powder...to no effect. Oh my god he's about to get mauled and ripped to shreds by zombies oh my god why is this happening this is supposed to be for children. Bulbasaur wraps one of the zombies in vines and throws it a distance away from the others - and its corpse body immediately decomposes. aaaaaauuuuugh whyyyyyyyy
STILL MANAGING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT? LET US FIX THAT
Red figures out that something or someone is controlling the corpses of the long-dead Pokemon in the tower - but what? And then he's slowly being surrounded...
They attack all at once, but Red manages to dodge to the side and break out of the circle. But they aren't following him... Red figures it out - the dark fog is what's actually controlling the zombies.
Suddenly, a ball of flame bursts out, narrowly missing Red as it bursts against one of the gravestones. Oh, hey, it's Green and Charmeleon! Red is insanely relieved to see that Green's alright, so they can all just go--wait oh god fire--
Charmeleon blocks off the exit with a wall of flame, and Red is like WTF IS GOING ON AAAH. Oh, Red, we'll tell you what's going on.
BITCH ZOMBIE'S IN THE ROOM
HIS AXE IS ON FIRE
HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS
SHOOT 'EM IN THE HEEEEEEAAAAAAAADDDDDD
Chapter Fourteen: Vs. Arbok (American title:Arboks on a Plane That Awful Arbok!)
We resume where we last left off: namely, Red about to be disemboweled by a shitload of zombies, including one who was formerly his Best Frenemy Forever. You know, for kids!
Red notes that Green is apparently also being controlled by the Dark Purple Fog of Death And/Or Zombiedom. Which is good that he notes this, because Charmeleon launches at him with claws extended, and only Bulbasaur intervening and tangling him up in a Vine Whip allows Red to keep all his organs where they belong. Red thinks and concludes that there's only one Pokemon he knows of with the power to take on a gaseous form and possess people, and that's Gastly.
Having identified the problem, Red attempts to attack Gastly directly, but all his attacks phase right through it. Green raises his hand to apparently command Charmeleon to burn Red's shit up, but Red takes the opportunity to command Bulbasaur to suck the fog in through its bulb, and then explosively shoot Gastly through the outside wall via its mouth. Even Red is shocked by how ludicrous yet effective that was.
Meanwhile, Green attempts to repress this memory forever - oh, too late.
Green, apparently recovered, immediately reverts to being all tough and aloof and tsuntsun, which reassures Red that he's back to being okay. Red is immediately like, hey cool you're recovered let's get the hell out of here, but Green is having none of it. Someone out there was Messing With Green's Shit, and you know what that means! GREEN IS GOING TO CUT A BITCH.
IF THERE ARE ANY BITCHES IN THIS BUILDING, GREEN IS SO CUTTING THEM.
Red, of course, can't just leave without him, so they both end up going out to mess people up good. Of course, Green is being sulky, and Red complains that he fought off a bunch of zombies and shit all to save his stupid butt and the least Green could do would be to be less of a jerkface.
Suddenly, their shenanigans are halted by a Grimer attacking, and the trainer behind this all is revealed to be Koga, the ninja master of the Fuchsia City Gym. Wait, Lt. Surge was also a Gym Leader doing bad shit...I hope this doesn't turn out to be a pattern or something. 8/a
Koga is revealed to ALSO be with Team Rocket (zohmygawd as if you couldn't see that coming), setting up a new base in Lavender Tower (which no one will investigate due to oh my god zombies). Green is sick of listening to this shit when there are bitches to cut, so he has Charmeleon attack. Alas, Koga is only a holographic (or something) projection, and not actually there to be available for cutting. Major Suck.
Koga is all, "aww, were you upset about being a zombie slave? Would being dead all the way be better for you? I can make that happen, you know," and his Arbok attempts to blast the living shit out of them with acid. Green yanks Red with him back down the stairs despite Red's protests that they're heading straight for the zombies. Green, however, Has A Plan. Since Koga's giving orders to his Pokemon from a distance, even using Golbat's Supersonic to determine what's going on in the tower, he can't react to something too unexpected. Thus, he has Charmeleon use Reflect to fool Koga into thinking that Charmeleon got melted by the acid. In actuality, Charmeleon cut Arbok in half.
I am going to repeat that slowly for emphasis.
Charmeleon. Sliced. Arbok. In. Fucking. Half.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the most iconic moments in early Pokemon Special. This is the moment when thousands of readers realized that This Shit is Actually For Real. This is the most likely moment to be mentioned in reviews of the series, both formal and informal. This is not the anime. This is not sunshine and rainbows time. Green's Charmeleon just sliced Koga's Arbok into two separate bleeding pieces. (Yes, there's depicted pooled blood in a later panel. HEYO.) YOUR MOVE.
Green is all, *shades* YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH, Koga is all "Grrr, communicator smash," and Red is kind of sweatdropping at Green's badassery. Much happiness returns to Lavender Town now that they have no need to fear the undead, and Mr. Fuji's Doduo can rest in peace. Mr. Fuji tries to thank Red, but Red deflects it, admitting that it was all Green's awesomeness that enabled the day to be saved. Green, of course, is too busy walking away like a badass to notice. Awww, yeah.
I don't have a ton of time to write up a lot more because I am about to fall asleep, so it's you guys' job to help me out by teal deering as much as you can in the comments. What are your thoughts on material designated as "for kids"? What do you think constitutes "kid-friendliness?" Is there a line that shouldn't be crossed? Do you think today's kids are too sheltered, too desensitized, or neither?
And finally, something I wanted to bring up because I only bothered to think about the Fridge Horror the second or third time I read this series through. Green was stuck in Lavender Tower for two weeks. What was he eating during that time?
HA HA HAVE FUN WITH THAT >3
(Also, on a completely unnecessary note but relating to Pokemon: Giratina is a cheating whore.)
Chapter Twelve: Vs. Snorlax (American title: Wake Up--You're Snorlax!)
In the American title, wouldn't the Snorlax already know it was a Snorlax? Why do you need to tell it?
Red starts off at a bicycle race in Vermilion City, with a top prize of a large amount of money. As the gun goes off, RED PEDALS FURIOUSLY, but apparently he borrowed a bike from Creepy Old Guy from last chapter, and it is the suck. He immediately gets behind everyone, btu suddenly catches up to find they've all stopped to go carefully one at a time over a bridge. When Red asks why, someone points to the river, which is filled with a whole bunch of Tentacruel. Because THIS IS POKEMON SPECIAL, BITCHES, BIKE RACES ARE HARDCORE SHIT. Apparently it is allowed for your Pokemon to help you because this race is full of Pokemon-based obstacles.
Red uses his head and has Poliwrath make an ice path over the river for him with Ice Beam. Pretty soon he's in the lead! But then he comes to a huge forest, which everyone is going around. Red decides to save himself some time and cut through, against the advice of a local Bug Catcher, and gets mauled by some Beedrill for his trouble (I always shudder at this part because of a strong, deep-rooted fear of bees D|). But hey, he's still in the lead!
And then Red says cute things:
But oh no! The last leg of the race is blocked by a huge sleeping Snorlax! What to do?
After unsuccessfully attempting to wake up Snorlax, Red realizes that he can wake it up by letting it smell the Beedrill honey that got all over Bulbasaur back in the forest. THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG--oh wait, of course it can. Red gets chased all the way across the finish line by the Snorlax attempting to eat his face off, and ends up having to comically spend all the prize money simply to purchase enough food for the Snorlax to eat. Ho ho!
Chapter Thirteen: Vs. Psyduck (American title: Sigh for Psyduck!)
Welp, here's Chapter 13. Certainly this is just going to be another heartwarming lovefest like the last chapter, right? I mean, come on.
Red and co. has made it to Northern Lavender Town in the middle of a downpour. But every person he tries to ask for directions to shelter ignores him or turns away. That's cold, man ;;
A kindly old man named Mr. Fuji shows up and chats it up with Red while paying his respects at a small grave sitting by the side of the road. When he explains that his Doduo, a good friend in life, is buried there, Red also pays his respects (d'aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww), and Mr. Fuji invites him to shelter at his house.
Mr. Fuji explains how Lavender Town has always been a city dedicated to the souls of Pokemon, paying respect to both the living and deceased who lived good lives. In order to give respect to the dead, the people built the Pokemon Tower at the edge of town, a multi-story mausoleum. Red works out the fridge logic and asks why, if that tower is a sacred gravesite for the whole town, isn't the old man's Doduo buried there instead of randomly by the street?
Mr. Fuji explains that no one visits the tower any longer, on account of malicious ghosts apparently haunting the place. Red's reaction is to lol and say he doesn't believe in ghosts. Mr. Fuji doesn't contradict him, notably, merely points out that Red saw the suspicious and unkind attitudes of the locals. Because of their fear of the ghosts, they no longer trust one another or speak to strangers. Mr. Fuji looks very sad as he remarks that he'd like to give his Doduo a proper resting place instead of an old alley, as he brings out some pictures of his beloved partner. Red gets a bit misty-eyed looking through them, but this is suddenly dissipated when he sees OMG GREEN in one of the pictures.
Mr. Fuji is surprised to find out Red knows him, as the young man had passed through a couple weeks ago, a little before Mr. Fuji's Doduo died, and just like Red, he, too, laughed at the idea of ghosts. Red asks where he went, and Mr Fuji says,
"Two weeks ago, that boy entered the tower to prove me wrong...He hasn't been seen since. But these days, no one who goes into that tower comes out..."
Brrr.
Red is understandably concerned, and contemplates this story as he walks towards the tower in the rain. Green is a tough trainer, Red thinks to himself, and he couldn't go down easily, so what has he been doing for two weeks? Could the tower be haunted? Red decides, of course, that the best course of action is to charge off into the tower to check this mystery out. Hardy Boy Red to the rescue!
Inside, the tower is understandably super creepy, and Red is psyched out by the sound of dripping water. A dark, thick fog obscures most of the inside of the tower, but even with the fog, Red notes it looks bigger on the inside than on the outside.
Red suddenly sees a harmless-looking Psyduck, and is shocked to find that there are Pokemon in the tower. But hey, it's just a lost-looking Psyduck, ri--HOLY FLYING FUCK
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NIGHTMARES FOR EVERYBODY
So Red is now surrounded by rotting zombie Pokemon! HA HA IT'S A PARTY, GUYS. Bulbasaur uses Razor Leaf...to no effect. Red then tries Sleep Powder...to no effect. Oh my god he's about to get mauled and ripped to shreds by zombies oh my god why is this happening this is supposed to be for children. Bulbasaur wraps one of the zombies in vines and throws it a distance away from the others - and its corpse body immediately decomposes. aaaaaauuuuugh whyyyyyyyy
STILL MANAGING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT? LET US FIX THAT
Red figures out that something or someone is controlling the corpses of the long-dead Pokemon in the tower - but what? And then he's slowly being surrounded...
They attack all at once, but Red manages to dodge to the side and break out of the circle. But they aren't following him... Red figures it out - the dark fog is what's actually controlling the zombies.
Suddenly, a ball of flame bursts out, narrowly missing Red as it bursts against one of the gravestones. Oh, hey, it's Green and Charmeleon! Red is insanely relieved to see that Green's alright, so they can all just go--wait oh god fire--
Charmeleon blocks off the exit with a wall of flame, and Red is like WTF IS GOING ON AAAH. Oh, Red, we'll tell you what's going on.
BITCH ZOMBIE'S IN THE ROOM
HIS AXE IS ON FIRE
HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS
SHOOT 'EM IN THE HEEEEEEAAAAAAAADDDDDD
Chapter Fourteen: Vs. Arbok (American title:
We resume where we last left off: namely, Red about to be disemboweled by a shitload of zombies, including one who was formerly his Best Frenemy Forever. You know, for kids!
Red notes that Green is apparently also being controlled by the Dark Purple Fog of Death And/Or Zombiedom. Which is good that he notes this, because Charmeleon launches at him with claws extended, and only Bulbasaur intervening and tangling him up in a Vine Whip allows Red to keep all his organs where they belong. Red thinks and concludes that there's only one Pokemon he knows of with the power to take on a gaseous form and possess people, and that's Gastly.
Having identified the problem, Red attempts to attack Gastly directly, but all his attacks phase right through it. Green raises his hand to apparently command Charmeleon to burn Red's shit up, but Red takes the opportunity to command Bulbasaur to suck the fog in through its bulb, and then explosively shoot Gastly through the outside wall via its mouth. Even Red is shocked by how ludicrous yet effective that was.
Meanwhile, Green attempts to repress this memory forever - oh, too late.
Green, apparently recovered, immediately reverts to being all tough and aloof and tsuntsun, which reassures Red that he's back to being okay. Red is immediately like, hey cool you're recovered let's get the hell out of here, but Green is having none of it. Someone out there was Messing With Green's Shit, and you know what that means! GREEN IS GOING TO CUT A BITCH.
IF THERE ARE ANY BITCHES IN THIS BUILDING, GREEN IS SO CUTTING THEM.
Red, of course, can't just leave without him, so they both end up going out to mess people up good. Of course, Green is being sulky, and Red complains that he fought off a bunch of zombies and shit all to save his stupid butt and the least Green could do would be to be less of a jerkface.
Suddenly, their shenanigans are halted by a Grimer attacking, and the trainer behind this all is revealed to be Koga, the ninja master of the Fuchsia City Gym. Wait, Lt. Surge was also a Gym Leader doing bad shit...I hope this doesn't turn out to be a pattern or something. 8/a
Koga is revealed to ALSO be with Team Rocket (zohmygawd as if you couldn't see that coming), setting up a new base in Lavender Tower (which no one will investigate due to oh my god zombies). Green is sick of listening to this shit when there are bitches to cut, so he has Charmeleon attack. Alas, Koga is only a holographic (or something) projection, and not actually there to be available for cutting. Major Suck.
Koga is all, "aww, were you upset about being a zombie slave? Would being dead all the way be better for you? I can make that happen, you know," and his Arbok attempts to blast the living shit out of them with acid. Green yanks Red with him back down the stairs despite Red's protests that they're heading straight for the zombies. Green, however, Has A Plan. Since Koga's giving orders to his Pokemon from a distance, even using Golbat's Supersonic to determine what's going on in the tower, he can't react to something too unexpected. Thus, he has Charmeleon use Reflect to fool Koga into thinking that Charmeleon got melted by the acid. In actuality, Charmeleon cut Arbok in half.
I am going to repeat that slowly for emphasis.
Charmeleon. Sliced. Arbok. In. Fucking. Half.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the most iconic moments in early Pokemon Special. This is the moment when thousands of readers realized that This Shit is Actually For Real. This is the most likely moment to be mentioned in reviews of the series, both formal and informal. This is not the anime. This is not sunshine and rainbows time. Green's Charmeleon just sliced Koga's Arbok into two separate bleeding pieces. (Yes, there's depicted pooled blood in a later panel. HEYO.) YOUR MOVE.
Green is all, *shades* YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH, Koga is all "Grrr, communicator smash," and Red is kind of sweatdropping at Green's badassery. Much happiness returns to Lavender Town now that they have no need to fear the undead, and Mr. Fuji's Doduo can rest in peace. Mr. Fuji tries to thank Red, but Red deflects it, admitting that it was all Green's awesomeness that enabled the day to be saved. Green, of course, is too busy walking away like a badass to notice. Awww, yeah.
I don't have a ton of time to write up a lot more because I am about to fall asleep, so it's you guys' job to help me out by teal deering as much as you can in the comments. What are your thoughts on material designated as "for kids"? What do you think constitutes "kid-friendliness?" Is there a line that shouldn't be crossed? Do you think today's kids are too sheltered, too desensitized, or neither?
And finally, something I wanted to bring up because I only bothered to think about the Fridge Horror the second or third time I read this series through. Green was stuck in Lavender Tower for two weeks. What was he eating during that time?
HA HA HAVE FUN WITH THAT >3
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-06-16 07:13 pm (UTC)I think there's a distinction between "childish" and "kid-friendly". The former would be something that is oriented towards kids and that older people won't enjoy; the latter is appropriate for all ages, literally.
I think kids these days (lol) are too sheltered in the sense that Moral Guardian types are getting all over themselves about how such-and-such is not appropriate for chilluns!! and being overprotective of kids. But kids are going to get their hands on stuff that isn't appropriate for them anyways, and that it's kind of a part of growing up. I was reading ecchi manga at the age of, like, 10. (Love Hina to be specific, if you're familiar with it.) I turned out alright, I guess. There's always going to be that fascination among kids with "adult stuff, no matter what the adults would like to think.
I also think our culture places too much emphasis on things like sexual content and nudity being inappropriate, and not enough emphasis on violence being inappropriate. I remember my mom ranting this one time about how "Oh, there's this new movie that is PG-13 and ridiculously violent with people being tortured on-screen, and yet if there's someone's naked butt in the movie and nothing else? RATE IT R, KIDS CAN'T SEE THAT."
lol I'm kind of sleep-deprived right now so I really don't think this comment made any sense at all. I am not good at thinkythoughts |D
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-06-19 03:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: