[Sasuke] was in [your mom.]
Mar. 9th, 2008 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elementalheroTitle of journal = result of one crazy night of Mad Libs. I hadn't played Mad Libs in years, yet I found myself over at a friend's house for her 17th birthday, hanging with another friend and making ourselves laugh until we cried. I wish I could remember more, but that one was the best.
We went to the mall. I bought Volume 9 of the Bleach anime and was disappointed to find that the episodes on it containing the Kenpachi fight did not extend to Hollow Ichigo's first appearance. DAMMIT I WANT TO HEAR JOHNNY YONG BOSCH DO HIS CRAZY VOICE. XO
Wait a minute... I have YouTube.
[pause to investigate]
Okay, here's how it went:
Hollow Ichigo: "C'mon, you know me....partner."
Me: *NOSEBLEED AND A HALF*
Hollow Ichigo's English dub? APPROVED. AND A HALF. AS IN DOUBLE HELL-RAISER. WITH CHEESE. Now more than ever, I wish the Arrancar arc would hurry up and get dubbed..... T_T
Wait. Okay. So I picked up a copy of Shojo Beat at the mall and idly flipped through it.
To start this off, first I have to rant about Absolute Boyfriend. This series makes me so mad!!!
Seriously, the first volume? Got me hooked. It was light, it was ridiculous, it was fun and funny, not to mention lovely artwork and an intriguing enough premise. Riiko, a girl who has no luck with guys (at the time, this was me), gets frustrated and ends up accidentally purchasing a full-size human android sex doll from a mysterious store called "Kronos Heaven." Night, short for Nightly Lover Figure No. 1, is programmed to love only Riiko, but she won't have sex with him because she wants to fall in love with him first.
Oh yeah, and Night costs a million dollars.
Riiko gets off easy with a deal from the shady salesman Gaku: if she helps Night, their prototype, learn everything there is to know about women for the company's database and future models, she gets off scot-free.
The first volume was filled with absolute hilarity--Night can't understand why Riiko won't consummate their relationship (ya know, because he's a sex robot, hello?), so he will sometimes randomly whip his clothes off and suggest that they go somewhere. He's also completely perfect, but the only person who notices anything weird about Night kicking a soccer ball from their school into the Pacific Ocean is Soshi, Riiko's childhood friend who of course loves her dearly but she doesn't know. And Riiko spends the first ten or fifteen pages of the first chapter carrying her bra around without realizing. And there was a running gag with a soccer mom carting her kid around who keeps seeing Night do randomly amazing things like jump from a three-story building to the ground and be perfectly okay.
And the little "asides" that appear next to speech bubbles had me roffling. Example:
Gaku: He can do it thirty times in one night! [aside: You'd die.]
But then? When I gleefully went and purchased vol.s 2-4, expecting more?
The series started to suck.
Introduction of the "evil backstabbing two-dimensional bitch who Riiko thought was her friend" character? Check. Introduction of the "oh no I can't decide between Soshi and Night" conflict that manages to stretch, as far as I am, the entire series? Check.LIKE WHAT, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE A DECISION??? Failure to continue the funniness and turning the series into a soapy drama filled with whining and angst? EFFING CHECK.
For crying out loud, volume three's entire plot was Gaku trying to get Riiko to have sex with Night. Seriously. When they actually make teen hormones themselves the subject of a series, you know something went wrong. When they quit treating Night's puppy-dog-like consternation over society's view of relationships as an opportunity for humor, the series failed. Where was the funny? It just left on a train to nowhere. And Riiko's entire character became a joke. "No, I like Night. No, I like Soshi. NO WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND--NO, WAIT, I THINK THAT GUY WAS MY FIRST CRUSH BUT HE'S ACTUALLY ANOTHER FIGURE SENT BY THE COMPANY TO SECRETLY SEDUCE ME--NO WAIT!!!!!" I wish I were exaggerating.
IT JUST FAILED, OKAY??
So i picked up the Shojo Beat, flipping through, going, "Oh, what fresh idiocy has Yuu Watase come up with this month?"
It was the final chapter.
...
Without spoiling it--just in case my glowing review of the series has inspired a single soul to pick it up--they...they...
I don't know how. I wasn't even sure of the context--I quit buying after I was so disappointed in volume four, but even then--somehow, it ended right.
Somehow, the ending that happened...was understatedly dignified enough to salvage the wreckage of the entire series.
I didn't cry or anything--I was in too much shock. What is this madness? I cried. This series was supposed to suck! Go down in flames! I witnessed it! So how did the ending work out so perfectly and fit so well?
I'm sure the pathetic squealing fanbrats disagree with me, but it was honestly the only way the series could end and retain any scrap of dignity.
....I'm going to have to go buy volume five and catch back up...
We went to the mall. I bought Volume 9 of the Bleach anime and was disappointed to find that the episodes on it containing the Kenpachi fight did not extend to Hollow Ichigo's first appearance. DAMMIT I WANT TO HEAR JOHNNY YONG BOSCH DO HIS CRAZY VOICE. XO
Wait a minute... I have YouTube.
[pause to investigate]
Okay, here's how it went:
Hollow Ichigo: "C'mon, you know me....partner."
Me: *NOSEBLEED AND A HALF*
Hollow Ichigo's English dub? APPROVED. AND A HALF. AS IN DOUBLE HELL-RAISER. WITH CHEESE. Now more than ever, I wish the Arrancar arc would hurry up and get dubbed..... T_T
Wait. Okay. So I picked up a copy of Shojo Beat at the mall and idly flipped through it.
To start this off, first I have to rant about Absolute Boyfriend. This series makes me so mad!!!
Seriously, the first volume? Got me hooked. It was light, it was ridiculous, it was fun and funny, not to mention lovely artwork and an intriguing enough premise. Riiko, a girl who has no luck with guys (at the time, this was me), gets frustrated and ends up accidentally purchasing a full-size human android sex doll from a mysterious store called "Kronos Heaven." Night, short for Nightly Lover Figure No. 1, is programmed to love only Riiko, but she won't have sex with him because she wants to fall in love with him first.
Oh yeah, and Night costs a million dollars.
Riiko gets off easy with a deal from the shady salesman Gaku: if she helps Night, their prototype, learn everything there is to know about women for the company's database and future models, she gets off scot-free.
The first volume was filled with absolute hilarity--Night can't understand why Riiko won't consummate their relationship (ya know, because he's a sex robot, hello?), so he will sometimes randomly whip his clothes off and suggest that they go somewhere. He's also completely perfect, but the only person who notices anything weird about Night kicking a soccer ball from their school into the Pacific Ocean is Soshi, Riiko's childhood friend who of course loves her dearly but she doesn't know. And Riiko spends the first ten or fifteen pages of the first chapter carrying her bra around without realizing. And there was a running gag with a soccer mom carting her kid around who keeps seeing Night do randomly amazing things like jump from a three-story building to the ground and be perfectly okay.
And the little "asides" that appear next to speech bubbles had me roffling. Example:
Gaku: He can do it thirty times in one night! [aside: You'd die.]
But then? When I gleefully went and purchased vol.s 2-4, expecting more?
The series started to suck.
Introduction of the "evil backstabbing two-dimensional bitch who Riiko thought was her friend" character? Check. Introduction of the "oh no I can't decide between Soshi and Night" conflict that manages to stretch, as far as I am, the entire series? Check.
For crying out loud, volume three's entire plot was Gaku trying to get Riiko to have sex with Night. Seriously. When they actually make teen hormones themselves the subject of a series, you know something went wrong. When they quit treating Night's puppy-dog-like consternation over society's view of relationships as an opportunity for humor, the series failed. Where was the funny? It just left on a train to nowhere. And Riiko's entire character became a joke. "No, I like Night. No, I like Soshi. NO WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND--NO, WAIT, I THINK THAT GUY WAS MY FIRST CRUSH BUT HE'S ACTUALLY ANOTHER FIGURE SENT BY THE COMPANY TO SECRETLY SEDUCE ME--NO WAIT!!!!!" I wish I were exaggerating.
IT JUST FAILED, OKAY??
So i picked up the Shojo Beat, flipping through, going, "Oh, what fresh idiocy has Yuu Watase come up with this month?"
It was the final chapter.
...
Without spoiling it--just in case my glowing review of the series has inspired a single soul to pick it up--they...they...
I don't know how. I wasn't even sure of the context--I quit buying after I was so disappointed in volume four, but even then--somehow, it ended right.
Somehow, the ending that happened...was understatedly dignified enough to salvage the wreckage of the entire series.
I didn't cry or anything--I was in too much shock. What is this madness? I cried. This series was supposed to suck! Go down in flames! I witnessed it! So how did the ending work out so perfectly and fit so well?
I'm sure the pathetic squealing fanbrats disagree with me, but it was honestly the only way the series could end and retain any scrap of dignity.
....I'm going to have to go buy volume five and catch back up...
