elementalhero: NO PANTS (no pants!)
Things happening now:

- Getting Better about my relationship with Her. This is a good thing.
- Applying for a summer research grant to study Literature and Things. (specifically a media archaeology project on eighteenth-century periodical literature and today's blogging culture)
- Working slowly on original story for my workshop class, run by an actual published poet guy who is very intimidating. Waffling continuously between extreme pride and extreme self-loathing.
- Still trucking in RP. Playing Juudai and now Itachi at Kannagara.
- Naruto continues to break my heart.
- Not much free time for shows and things, but I watched Under the Red Hood for an RP buddy and have been dipping my toes into the ocean of American Comics. Also, trying to find time to watch Mawaru Penguindrum, as well as keep up with Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal (magnificent crack there).


I keep forgetting I have a personal DW. |D
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξdisney | all the ellipses)
I just had a 52-hour work week.

/sleeps forever



In other news, I've apped Juudai at Zodion, because a.) the YGO cast asked me to (;~~~; omg you guys i have friends) and b.) I throw him into a zillion sex memes anyway, I might as well take it up a notch and toss him into a sex game. (Is it terrible that I've written more graphic sex with my TV-Y7 muse than with all my adult/young adult muses combined? Yes, it probably is. B) )

updateish

Jun. 14th, 2011 12:49 pm
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξnno | FUCK YOU OWL)
Heading into my second week of work. I'm feeling a lot less MELODRAMATICALLY MISERABLE about it as compared to last year... maybe this means I am Growing Up and such and being less of a Juvenile Drama Queen about - gasp - having a crappy job (which maybe like idk 70% of adults in the world have to deal with, too).

Tumblr, roleplay, and Yu-Gi-Oh have all been keeping me sane. I Skyped with [livejournal.com profile] anzila on Friday night and I watched the first episode of 5D's, which was... unironically hilarious. Haven't moved on any farther yet, but LMAO A PINK CHICKEN AND A ROBOT HOBO ARE YOUR BEST CARDS, YUUSEI? REALLY? KIND OF ADORABLE IN A SAD WAY (OR SAD IN AN ADORABLE WAY). Anzy and I also had discussions ranging from The Looming Specter of the Career World to making up wacky headcanon for GX (we have determined that Juudai's one weakness is tennis. It's his kryptonite.) and all was fun.

I might have to Skype more often - it's just that my Skype name is my real name (I originally made it with an eye towards college and RL applications, like my Facebook page, and never expected to use it with my fandom friends) so I might need to make a second one for Internet derpery. I like keeping my RL social networking and my fun internet social networking separate. Maybe one day, the worlds will merge. But that day is not today.

/an update

oh hi

Jun. 7th, 2011 01:22 pm
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξkh | riku calls bullshit)
I swore I wouldn't, but the economy is a bitch. I'm going back to Offset.

Cons: horrific misery for another summer again.

Pros: money.

I am such a sellout.
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξab | failure is the only option)
HI GUYS LOOK WHO HAS BEEN A GIANT JERK AND NOT UPDATED THIS THING IN A GOOD LONG TIME 8D

My life right now: Plurk, Tumblr, Pokemon, more Plurk, YGO fandom, RPing, stress, stress, job applications, stress. I have not felt not-stressed for the entirety of my stay at home so far, and most of it is for no legitimate reason. Idk. I'm not happy about it but I don't know what to do. I'm not good at locating the "don't worry/worry" switch in my brain.

I keep telling myself I'll write up a big entry, but then I don't, so maybe writing a smaller one will help. I'm cleaning out my room right now in preparation to swap with my younger sister, I'm waiting on a job app that has been a marvelously huge pain in my ass, and I am in a tear-inducing level of frustration with my body right now. So yeah.

/SURPRISINGLY UNCHEERFUL UPDATE
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξhp | awkward blast-ended skrewt)
Man, I have been neglecting this journal. HI GUYS REMEMBER ME?

In addition to constantly being on Plurk, I now have a new timesink to in which to flush the remaining days of my waning youth: I now have a Tumblr, which I mostly made to more efficiently follow the roughly 20 Yu-Gi-Oh! tumblrs that I've been checking manually every day.

So yeah, I've given up pretending that it's a phase, and openly admitted that YGO's my new fandom. Probably be spamming it for a long time, I guess. I don't know how these things happen. :V

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE NEWEST HARRY POTTER TRAILER??? /froths at mouth

In RL: bleeeeaaaaaaaarrrrrgh my life is so boringly boring. Almost got an internship but not quite (don't feel like rehashing the story), so now my summer will probably consist of working at a summer camp and trying to write more original fiction and begin amassing a portfolio. Anything but Offset again.

Finals in one week and then I get to do the summer thing \o/

x_________x

Apr. 4th, 2011 09:31 pm
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξdisney | all the ellipses)
my ass is so sick right now

i can't afford this

i have too many things to do
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξdisney | forever facepalm)
- FUCKING INTERNSHIPS applying this weekend
- check out volunteer shit, too, and look at idealist.org for more
- Paradise Lost essay, ten pages, due April 11th
- Modernity essay (must choose topic!), ten pages, due April 22nd
- Bio project on red-tailed hawk, sources due April 12th, project to be presented in late April
- various exams
- WRITING SAMPLE FOR CREATIVE WRITING LEVEL 2 WORKSHOP!!! /shriek
- figure out housing
- figure out courses for next year
- hide under covers, scream
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξgx | console me in my darkest hour)
Well, that was the most disappointing spring break ever. No RL friends, no movies I wanted to see (until Limitless came in on Friday, but then I was busy with family and couldn't go /rage), and no downloading all those subbed episodes of GX because the site went down five days before I could get home to my limit-free wireless (/RAGE).

On the plus side, I got to walk my dog four miles every day. And before you think that's my sarcasm talking, no, I actually took her that far on purpose, just to get out of my house. D'|

also, I counted up my GX icons and they outnumber my Star Driver icons. OH FFFUUUU I WAS GONNA CATCH UP ON STAR DRIVER THIS WEEK AND I NEVER DID DAMMIT.

But the week was not without nice things, I suppose, as I did get a lot of sleep and I beat Pokemon White (*o*) and I made a new friend (Welcome to my flist, [livejournal.com profile] aphotic!), and I got a haircut. My hair needed it.


...rereading this and wow, my life is boring.
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξkh | yeah sure real thing)
has so far consisted of managing my bratty dog (but I love her) (but she makes me want to rip my hair out), searching for internships (also ripping hair out), late-night tagging, and POKEMON WHIIIIIIIIITE UNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNF

might do another PokeSpe recap post tonight or tomorrow :/a might also write some fic


All my friends from high school had their breaks last week, so naturally I have no one to see and nothing fun to do this week -___-
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξttgl | i'll follow you)
RL entry? WHAT IS THIS??

blah blah blah school and real life stuff blah )

State of the Fandom News: present and future fandom shifts? NEWS AT ELEVEN )

Man, I forgot what it was like to actually post about myself, lol |D
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξnno | FUCK YOU OWL)
Okay, you guys, I have been like mentally AWOL from everything lately. In fandom, I have done nothing but marathon Yu-Gi-Oh! GX and post about it on Plurk (I was going to try to keep up the crossposting, but the sheer amount of obnoxious copypasta would have killed me dead). And I mean "marathon" - I watched about 105 episodes in... three weeks, I think. And I'm still going. I might make an LJ entry about the first two seasons, boiling the show down to its essential points for your amusement. You would be surprised how many of those points involve talking space dolphins.

In RL news, I've finally admitted that what I thought I wanted to do with my life, I didn't really want to do, or do in exactly the way I thought I was going to do it, so now I am sending emails and making Decisions and things of that nature. These things are the real reason I have been so emo/avoidant lately, so with them cleared up, I should be out and about on this journal more.

I love you guyssssssss ;3;
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξstock | i am the lord your god)
I have an anecdote from my first summer working at the library.

It was a sunny day, midsummer. A woman walked in, someone I recognized by face as a member of my church. I had no books to shelve, and so struck up a short conversation with her as I checked her books out. I don't remember if I got her name. I don't remember it in any case, as I am notoriously awful with names. If my memory serves, she asked something like what books I had read recently. I told her I had read The Stand, by Stephen King, in all its one-thousand-page-plus glory.

She said, and I will never forget the offhand way in which she said this, as if it were completely normal and non-heinous, "Oh yes, I remember burning that book once."

I flinched as if physically struck. I remember my mouth working for a couple seconds, like a nutcracker with no nuts in it. But, I asked, but why would you burn it?

She gave me a look as if I had asked a childish question. "Well, because it was evil," she said. She took her books, her apparently fine, non-evil books, and left, not in a mood or anything. As if that was a perfectly normal conversation to have.

I felt disquieted and jacked-up for the rest of the day.


When I told a friend about it after my shift was over, explaining it almost in a blank daze, I remember saying, over and over, that it wasn't even that she was a member of my church that disturbed me so much. Nor was it even that it was a book by my then-favorite author. Or the fact that she was denouncing a book in which light triumphs over the forces of ignorance and darkness as "evil."

No, what disturbed me the most was the fact that she seemed so okay with the concept itself. Of burning a book. Any book. She had told me it was at a large book-burning. Like a party. I didn't know they existed in a civilized world.

The only sentence I remember saying word-for-word was a simple one. One I kept repeating to myself, once I had triangulated the purest, most naked form of my disquiet and horror.


"Books are not for burning."



Keeping those five words in mind, my thoughts on the Dove Church's movement for this September 11th should be crystal clear.

But just in case they aren't, have this video:

bleh

Sep. 7th, 2010 01:53 pm
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξkh | so that my wish too will be)
So of course I have been way too happy lately, so happy in fact that my body couldn't take its sheer force anymore and started breaking down on me somewhere around Friday night. I have this awful cold right now and it's making me tired, spacey, and miserable. Despite this, I am determined to be as happy as possible about all the great things that continue to happen to me. I obtained Cute Boy's cell number (>D), though I have yet to work up the nerve to call him and ask if he wants to study Japanese with me sometime (step on it, self! but not while sick, bad move).

My classes are going well, my friends make me insanely happy on a daily basis, chorus starts today, and I went to another Women's Studies Luncheon! Things are great, even when my sinus passages attempt to crash the party.
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξnno | have they stolen your thunder)
Bullet points!

~We (my roomies and I) went ROAD TRIPPIN' down to my house for the weekend because I wanted to show them the sheer boonie-ness of my area. We went to the county fair and I was amazed to find that the new big attraction is - wait for it - PIG RACES. I. AM. NOT MAKING THIS UP. My friends were totally amazed that my mom baked us a pie (blueberry/strawberry/peach if you were curious), and they spoiled my dog with a great deal of attention.

~I was going to do work today after we got back, but then I accidentally napped for three hours |D

~I have some FSTs I've been meaning to post; may do that sometime this month.

~I intend to do NaNoWriMo this year! ...Yep, just letting you know.

~gnnnnnh don't talk to me about Japanese X|
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξhp | beyond the sky)
Okay, for the past two days in a row, I have had those absurd compound-complex dreams in which I wake up and am still dreaming and then I wake up for real. I have never had such dreams previously, and I'm not sure if I can blame Inception, because I saw it weeks ago.

Last night's was also some kind of textbook anxiety dream with all the anxiety symptoms, which included my teeth falling out. (That's supposed to be symbolic of fear of change/losing potency? which I only know from The Tommyknockers to begin with...) Although what's interesting about last night's is that I was trying to report to the school authorities that I was a victim of stalking/sexual harassment by this creepy guy who chased me down the hill to my Economics class (a class which I have never taken) and tried to lift my skirt, but in the dream, I couldn't remember how I got from the Econ class to reporting the guy chasing me, and I realized that I must have dreamed the guy, so I apologized to Campus Safety and said I had realized that never happened, I only dreamed it, but I might not have so maybe keep an eye out for the guy, and they nodded and sympathized with me. Then I woke up for real and was like "what the heck 0__o" In between that, I was in a public bathroom and overheard the president of the college plotting with a mob boss to murder his wife, but they found out I was listening, and they made me promise not to tell or I would be expelled. I had an extreme moral crisis, but then my teeth started falling out until my mouth was full of lose teeth (more than could possibly have fit in my jaw) and I had to clench my lips shut so I didn't lose any until I could get to a dentist to fix them. It was so bizarre. Perhaps my anticipation of finally not having to work in the hellhole that is OPM translated itself into life-transition anxiety?

In related-yet-other news, I am gearing my muses up to return to the wonderful world of RP, which I have missed like an ache in my soul for nine weeks of my life ;~~~; I was a bit chagrined and upset at first to see that Sasuke was reserved at Squarewarts by someone other then me while I was away, but I am determined to make the best of it. There is always museboxing, and far be it from me to deny another person the exquisite joy of playing that emo derpface. And hey, they might change their mind. Nym's reserved Blue and I have reserved Silver, so they will be making their triumphant, street-rat return to the halls of Hogwarts pretty soon. 8D

The most notable of my changes in muse roster at SW is that I have decided not to pick Ruby up again. Instead, I was bitten reeeaaally hard by a new muse... his dad. |D Yup, I intend to play Norman as an angry maverick Gym-Leader-turned-Phys-Ed-teacher with a delinquent son who's currently running around saving the world from global warming with his tiny girlfriend. Ruby-muse was not happy with me, but I think he'll get over it, as I am picking him up at [livejournal.com profile] counted_stars to play with his dad as played by the lovely [livejournal.com profile] connie_connike, who I met via dear_mun and who is ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. I am also vibrating with the anticipation of playing my favorite [livejournal.com profile] dramatic_cape back at Kannagara. 8D I will be running crazy with apps and reapps next week, but it is so worth it.

Alright! Getting psyched up! ONE MORE DAY!!!!
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξttgl | badass cape icon)
Oh, such a great weekend. I took Friday off to practice for the wedding rehearsal of my high school chorus teacher with students and alums of our choir. Then we went to one of us's family's lake house to go tubing and swimming in the lake. It was raining when we got there, so we watched The Lost Boys which is now officially one of my favorite 80s movies on account of how eighties it was. Also the vampires. Then the weather broke and it was gorgeous in the afternoon so we went out on the lake and the water was warm and I was there with all my friends... ;~~~; so wondrous.

Saturday, the wedding was fantastic and we danced all night at the reception. I got home around 11 pm and I didn't want to go to bed right away, and I was alone in the house, so I popped in a Code Geass DVD, curled up on the couch, and watched the English dub of a few episodes with a glass of Chardonnay (don't tell :3).

Today, I finished the sixth Hitchiker's Guide book that was written by Eoin Colfer (verdict: very good), bummed around, played some Pokemon, and went to see Inception with a friend, which was marvelous and fantastic and gorgeous and basically incredimazing.

I am also consiiidering getting a Plurk account. I want some serious positive/negatives from you guys. Worth my time? Is the layout user-friendly? etc....
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξポケモン | my squishy)
I got four hours of sleep last night! 8D Sleeping with four slices of Pizza Hut on my stomach = not the best idea that has ever jumped into my head :/a But I don't regret it, as making a late night pizza date with my bffl was the only thing that kept me sane through a Saturday overtime shift. That and the thought of double-time pay. Sob.

Said bffl also gave me her old Sapphire cartridge! I CAN NOW PLAY A GEN III GAME FOR THE FIRST TIME AND EXPERIENCE THE PLOT OF THE GAMES THAT INSPIRED MY FAVORITE POKESPE ARC. Also, Ruby and Sapphire are OTP even in chibisprite form eeeeeeeeee~ :3 Also my Zigzagoon is named Crackoon and that alone proves I am a derp. (Plus it has the ability Pickup which for all intents and purposes literally makes him my crack mule.)

ALSO ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY REPLACEMENT POKEWALKER IN THE MAIL YAAAAAAAAAY.
elementalhero: NO PANTS (ξcg | these deep solitudes)
I miss college. I am reaching the point where I am starting to wonder if the whole thing wasn't just a very detailed, lengthy lucid dream I had. The nightmare I had last week is weighing heavily on my mind. I hate this job. Not even the work itself is the worst, though it is awful - no, what I hate is what I feel I am losing. Creativity. Drive. Days of life. This is my last year as a "teenager," and I have barely seen the sun so far. You start to realize how people can spend thirty-five years working this shit job in this shit place, and that's because you get so tired, so worn, so hurt, that it's easier to sit and stay than to get up and run and never come back.

I want to go out somewhere. I want to do all the stupid, ill-advised things I've spent my entire life being too sensible to do. I want to laugh and run and hope and reach out and grasp the stars in my fist. When Sean and I were dating the winter of my junior year, he promised me that he'd show me how to break into the middle school and climb onto the roof once summer came. We broke up in February and that never happened, obviously. I wish it had happened. I wish I could just get out. Eight months away at school and I'd managed to forget how stifling this town is, how stunted your dreams become because of the size of the planter they're grown in. It's worse because I feel like I caught a whiff, a taste of the Big Wide Open World, before coming back here and chaining myself to this job.

I'm quitting after the first week in August. I'm squeezing a summer into those three weeks thereafter, and then I go back to school. I'm not stuck here. I'm not going to be working at Offset forever. But it feels like I am. Deep in my heart, it feels like the past six-seven weeks have been a lifetime, and I've got another lifetime ahead before it's done. I can't imagine what it's like not to have an escape route. When you're little, and your parents say that education will open doors, you don't realize what they mean because you've never gotten a glimpse of what it's like to be stuck behind when the doors shut. I've seen it. It scares the fucking shit out of me. I try to commiserate with my mom, but she has little sympathy for me. I can't honestly blame her. I've had a great life. I'm not going to be throwing bundles for thirty-five years. I know all this. But there's knowing and then there's feeling, and right now, I feel a nameless terror at the sight of adulthood, nearing and leering ever closer to me. My feet ache. My shoulders ache. My head aches. My heart aches. I can barely write anymore.

At this point, I don't even give a shit about the money. I want out. I want out.
elementalhero: NO PANTS (Naruto [SRS BSNSS])
Sorry I haven't done much lately but memes, you guys. I've finally recovered almost completely from my Horrible Teef Surgery and lived to tell the tale, so here's a sort-of catch-up post about my mostly-crappy-but-actually-pretty-okay holidays, as well as some random internet crap.

You have died for this village! )

ON HAPPIER NOTES, HAVE SOME SPAM:

Auto Tune the News: This is a series of videos, in which the news is made to be musical and hilarious. Sadly, there are only nine! This is the source of most of my derpy journal titles lately.

NABURO: oh god XDX This is....well, just. Click the link. It's an incredibly bad Naruto ripoff manga from Indonesia. It's honestly so brain-searingly bad that it's hilarious, as well as terrifying. If you liked the first link, here's the second. I have already noticed some of the quotes undergoing memetic mutation. I say we encourage it. It's amazing. /glances at journal title and cut-text

And here's a meme!

Put your music player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty-one songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-second is the title.

I Think of a Lot of Things When I'm Walking

Now we're broken on the floor.
Prison gates won't open up for me--
Reach out, touch faith.

You can dig me up a grave,
Three sleepless nights.
We both take the hardest punches.
Black widow in a white room, will you survive?

Crawling streets are cleared away.
We only want to sing you to sleep.
I close both locks below the window.

Let's talk, and we'll fill the air.
Everyone says, sooner or later,
"I've noticed your design.
Raise your hands out and testify!"

This world will never be what I expected.

And I love her so,
Stems and gears, oh how the daisies bloom.
Autumn brought some kind of change.

Consider this your final warning:
In the middle of a gunfight...

No, she won't, she won't, she won't wait.

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